"Hey dad, what's that speech called that a priest says at a wedding, just before the vows?"

"A Eulogy."
--

"Jess, do you hate squats?"

"Well, I live with one..."

".... I said squats, not Twats."
--

"A man can build a thousand bridges, but suck one COCK and he'll forever be known as a cock-sucker."

--

"What's a Dictator?"

"A potato that grows in your pants."